Chemistry

Chemistry you didn't learn in high school.
Two new additions to the periodic table of elements:

ELEMENT NAME

WOMAN

SYMBOL

WO

ATOMIC WEIGHT

(don't even go there)

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

USAGE

Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

CAUTION

Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

ELEMENT NAME

MAN

SYMBOL

XY

ATOMIC WEIGHT

180+/-50

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

USAGE

None known.. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

CAUTION

In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

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